Blog Life (you know, like Thug Life, but not): How Do You Handle Your Personal Life vs. Your Blog Life?

personalvsbloglifefeature

DISCUSSION THURSDAY! Ok, that isn’t really a thing here at Twilight Sleep, but I have a lot of discussion topics that I’m going to start sharing with everyone. STARTING NOW!

Today’s topic: How Do You Handle Your Personal Life vs. Your Blog Life?

Well, what do you mean by that, Shannon? What I mean is, do you mix your personal life with your blog life? Or do you keep the two totally and completely separate?

I, for the most part, have tried to keep mine separate. My Facebook profile is completely separate from my Facebook page, my blog Twitter account is completely separate from my personal Twitter account, etc. However, there are times when the two overlap. Sometimes I talk about things that have happened in my personal life (mostly how much I don’t like my job – uncool, but I do it) on my blog Twitter and vice versa. I really do try to limit this overlap; MORE SO on my blog Twitter because I don’t want to bore my bookish followers with the details of my drab life and other reasons – but sometimes I personally create it (like with this post) because I don’t think people should be boxed in and made to feel UNABLE to talk about *certain* personal things in a public forum.

I follow some bloggers who practice no such thing though, and feel completely comfortable talking about their personal lives (their children, their romantic relationships, how their days go, etc.) on their blogging accounts. This doesn’t bother me at all. There are others who never say anything that’s not book-related. That doesn’t bother me either. I like to consider myself a pretty laid back person in spite of a few people I know who would argue that.

But today I got a bit of a shock when someone told me that they (and apparently others who have commented to them about me) think I’m a very emotional and passive aggressive tweeter. The emotional I’ll give you, but the passive aggressive part took me for a total loop. I was completely unaware that I was giving off that impression. I know now, and I will more carefully monitor the things I tweet and post – but I’m not going to become someone who has no personality whatsoever either. While I would love to, and I honestly do try, I cannot please everyone. If I have ever offended any of you, I sincerely apologize – that’s never been my intention. And passive aggressively tweeting has never been my intention either; as I said, I honestly can’t even think of a tweet I’ve written that could have been taken as passive aggressive although I’m sure there’s been at least one. It’s just odd to me because I’ve never had a reason to BE passive aggressive – I’ve never had a bad relationship with any of my fellow bloggers other than one or two minor issues which I did not make public. So where is this coming from?

Admittedly, today I did a public poll about a situation I was in at the time. I thought I did a good job of not giving out any information that would point to the person I was in the situation with…but I can see how it could be considered rude that I brought it up publicly at all. Again, it was not my intention to offend or be rude – I was honestly just looking for some quick opinions on what others would do if the event happened to them. I have since apologized to this person for making the situation public and they were gracious and polite AND they also apologized to me and we have worked through what ended up being just a misunderstanding. But the situation has caused strife between me and someone else who wasn’t even involved, and that saddens me.

I won’t go on about my experiences any longer but I had to put this out there even though I can imagine it will probably further incense that certain someone. I hate drama, but more than that I hate it when people are judging me for something that I don’t even realize I’m doing. That’s why I have an honesty policy – I always approach people if I have issues with them, I don’t just sit back and judge silently…because how can you truly know a person’s intent if you haven’t even tried to talk to them about it? Of course, you shouldn’t dish it out if you can’t take it, so I encourage this honesty policy with all my friends as well. I want to know if something I’ve done is causing you to resent me! So many times things like this end up just being a misunderstanding, and I think it’s absolutely silly to destroy relationships over things so trivial and immature. So that being said, I really want to know…have I come across as passive aggressive, rude, or otherwise mean to any of you? You can comment here or if you want to email me to discuss it, please feel free to do so: shannon at twilightsleep dot net – just whatever you do, if you choose to respond PLEASE ON THE NAME OF ALL YOU HOLD PRECIOUS BE HONEST.

I can’t become a better person if I never know the effect I’m having on others.

And back to the original topic, what about you? How do you mix the two? Or do you? Would love to hear any and all thoughts on the matter.

About the author /


Hi. My name is Shannon and I like books. And photography. And video games. I use this space to talk about books, review books, and generally participate in badassery.

25 Comments

  1. Christine @ Oh, Chrys!

    You know. The most dangerous thing about the book blogosphere is its closely-knit community. Yes, it is great, but it does give room for much unnecessary drama. As a person on the outside, I have never read any of your tweets that I would deem as passive-aggressive. That word is always thrown around on the interwebs carelessly. I saw someone looking for advice on a disclosed subject. I did not see anything malicious at all. Whoever called you out like that, obviously does not know you too well. As I can recall when you had to endure some hefty drama months back, and you did not make it public at all then. Yes, you told me about it, but it was all about advice-giving. You are not passive-aggressive, and I hate that someone’s feedback has led to question your personality.

    I have been a target of passive-aggressive tweets – those are hurtful despite their seemingly subtleness. I have seen tweets that are meant for me to see, meant to make me feel less comfortable as a blogger, and even a blog reader. With such experience, I have yet to see anything on your stream that can be readily classified as ‘passive-aggressive’. I have learnt that when conflict arises, the best thing to do is to privately contact the blogger. I am glad you did that without creating a ruckus -trust me, that would have been futile as I have learnt in the past.

    I am so proud of you, Shannon. Don’t change your personality because of this.

    • Shannon

      Reading this comment lifted a weigh off my shoulders, seriously. I know you understand – you so often do when nobody else does. I too thought I handled things pretty well, overall. And so did she, obviously. So I guess that’s what really matters.

  2. Christina

    I keep my blog and personal life seperate. I will talk about my job and such sometimes, but not a lot. I too keep a seperate Facebook and I only use twitter for the blog. I would rather keep my blog seperate from my real life than my personal life from the blog. Does that make sense? Most of my friends and family members don’t even know that I have a blog. I wouldn’t call any of my friends “readers” except for a few and so I don’t think they would understand the whole book blogger community thing. Maybe it’s wrong for me to assume but that’s how I feel, and because of that I keep the blog away from them.

    I haven’t been a blogger long, but I’ve heard of the drama that can occur. However, I feel like what you posted today was in no way rude or wrong. We are a community, and I would like to think friends. I know that I go to friends and ask for their advice about dealing with situations. To me that is what you did. You had a situation and you asked friends, followers, a community, or whatever for advice. You didn’t drag somebody’s name through the mud or call anybody out. You got the advice you needed, confronted the situation, and everything seems like it’s turned out fine. I don’t think you did anything wrong, but that’s just my opinion. The beauty of this world is that we don’t all have to agree, that we can all have our seperate opinions and still interact with each other.

    • Shannon

      Thank you so much for your comment, Christina. You are so right about the separate opinions thing. I wish more people thought like that – the world would be a better place!

      I totally understand what you mean about family and friends not understanding – it’s much the same with me and at first I did sort of “hide” my blog…but I’ve since come out of the closet, LOL. Some of them enjoy reading it even though they aren’t book nerds like me!

  3. CeCe

    What a great topic! While I do have separate email and twitter, I mix personal and blog all the time. I am one whole person and I don’t see a reason to break myself into pieces depending on different situations. The only reason I separate twitter and email is for organizational purposes. I do have separate tumblr accounts and have only bookish things on my blog tumblr but that is because my personal tumblr can get a bit dark/loveypoetic/travelfilled. I have however shared my personal tumblr with my blog readers in case they are interested in getting to know that side of me. I love seeing the personal side of my blogger friends! it makes them feel more like real people!
    With that said, I have never known your tweets to be what id consider passive aggressive. emotional maybe but we book bloggers are very excitable passionate people so that is to be expected. I had a similar situation this week where I was called out on something that I had never heard said about me before and was completely shocked by. This person basically said its been bother them for a while… but they never thought too politely mention it before?! Some friend! I did the same thing and started asking around to see if others saw me that way and no one knew what this person was talking about. It’s so strange the way people read into things and react differently. And how some people will be open and honest and others hold it in. I have decided based on my personal experience this week that it says more about them than you.

    • Shannon

      SO true. I mean, that person said this but so far EVERYONE I’ve asked (about 20 people have replied so far) has disagreed with them. So I’m not sure why they have such a problem with me but I’m very very very glad that, so far, no one else sees what they see in me.

  4. Leanne

    I think a sprinkling of personal matters in a book blog is completely fine. In fact, in a book blog community, it seems people crave it. We have so many discussions with each other on so many topics that we inevitably get to know each other and begin forming relationships. I don’t know for sure about everyone else, but I’m guessing that with the bloggers they’re most familiar with, they enjoy glimpses into their online friends’ everyday lives as much as I do. I would hope that anyone wanting to share such things wouldn’t feel that they aren’t allowed or that it isn’t acceptable. This is a pretty welcoming community overall and I think that goes beyond the realm of books.

    As far as the passive aggressive comment… I haven’t been your twitter buddy for long but I have yet to see anything that comes off in that manner. Yes you are emotional – you get easily excited over things, which is fine, because THINGS ARE AWESOME. But the rest I haven’t seen and comment on except to the negative.

    I *think* so far I’ve mostly kept my blog book-related, even if a few personal things that are book-related have leaked in there. I mean, I don’t think I could really help that, as books tend to be personal things to those who enjoy them. If we weren’t passionate about them, if we didn’t care about them, we wouldn’t devote a blog to them. And you can’t devote yourself to something without contributing a part of yourself to it at the same time. Personal glimpses will undoubtedly leak through – I think this is a great thing. I just hope people are comfortable with willingly sharing MORE of those personal glimpses, beyond books, if it’s something they wish to do.

    • Shannon

      Oh Leanne…I very much agree with you. I LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing about the personal side of my fellow book bloggers. It’s nice to know there’s someone else out there who appreciates that aspect of the community too.

  5. Nancy @ Tumbling Books

    I don’t have a Facebook account for myself, though I do have one for my blog. I only have the one Twitter account, so to me it’s both personal and for my blog. I like to talk about myself and book stuff, just so that people can get a sense of who I am and I think it has invited twitter discussions that I’ve really enjoyed.

    Personally, I don’t think you’re passive aggressive at all. I’ve probably tweeted passive aggressive stuff too, but I don’t give a FUDGE. LOL I’m not gonna swear on your blog. But whatever, I say what I want and I don’t even regret it. If someone doesn’t like what I post, they can just click the “unfollow” button. I’m good with that. :D

    If I was in your position, in real life, I would totally react like this:

    However, since it’s Twitter…

    LOL Don’t stress. They can say whatever they want. I still think you’re awesome! <3

    • Shannon

      LMAO. Nancy, you are the best. Normally that is my attitude about things in my PERSONAL life, but I have really tried to tone it down in my book blog life. I guess that’s why it hurts so much to be told something like that, because they really just don’t know.

      THEY DON’T KNOW ME.

      *stank eye*

      • Nancy @ Tumbling Books

        haha ME TOO! When I get angry about something on Twitter and/or my blog, I have to give myself a little talk. Like: “Nancy, calm down. Don’t go crazy, tone down the attitude or you’re going to lose all your followers and everyone will hate you. Relax.”

        LOL I’m glad you’re like me though! This is so exciting. haha

        • Leanne

          Omgoodness those gifs are perfect! And hilarious!!

  6. Nancy @ Tumbling Books

    Aww! I had some awesome gifs for you, but they didn’t show up. Anyways, you get what I mean. LOL :D

    • Shannon

      Aww, man! I wonder why they didn’t show??? Link me to them, I wanna see!

  7. Cassie

    Eff this. I think you’re straight up awesome and honest and sarcastic and I love it. I also, like you, separate the two entirely. It just works for me. To each their own, tho!

    • Shannon

      Keeping it short and sweet and straight to the point. THAT’S MY CASS. Thank you. <3

  8. Ashley

    I think what you said was perfectly fine! I mean it would be completely different if you had named names or given details, but you didn’t. I think asking a vague or hypothetical question (which it kind of was) is totally okay. You weren’t doing it to hurt anyone and you weren’t malicious about it; you just wanted to get some advice. No one even knew exactly what happened, so what’s the big deal??

    *hugsss*

    • Shannon

      Thank you, Ashley. I didn’t think what I did was wrong or harmful either (it certainly wasn’t meant to be that way!) but I just wanted to get some other opinions on it! I’m really not sure now that anyone took it the way this person did except for them…

      <333

  9. Jessi @ Auntie Spinelli Reads

    I don’t separate the two, because I like to get to know my blogging friends on a more personal level so I share my own things as well. And I can barely keep up with ONE account, so two accounts would be too much. If people don’t want to hear about my personal life on occasion, they can unfollow me. I’m more interested in building relationships with the bloggers I enjoy talking to than having the most followers. I don’t really care who I offend though, because I don’t sugarcoat things well and I’m unapologetic about being honest (albeit a bit blunt sometimes). You shouldn’t either! I have NO idea how someone could get that impression from you, because you’ve never been anything other than a sweetheart (to me, at least), but don’t let it get to you girlie! You can’t please everyone all the time; there are still going to be those idiots out there that just want to start drama. As long as you know in your heart that what you’re doing is right, that’s all that matters!
    <333

    • Shannon

      So much love for this comment! Normally I wouldn’t care who I offend either, but since I am a very direct and honest (and blunt) person it does happen. I was just shocked by the “passive aggressive” charge because that’s never been my style. I don’t know who this person has been talking with about me (or if the “other people” they mentioned even exist), but so far everyone I’VE talked to has said that it’s complete poppycock, so I’m not going to let it get to me any longer!

  10. Octavia

    Oh my dear friend, I’m totally going to have to go into mama bear mood if people don’t back up off you!

    Anywho, for me my blog is personal so there is honestly no need for me to separate my blog from my family/job/whatever-the-hell, because to me it’s one in the same. Does that make sense? Probably not but I shall continue! My blog means so much to me that with every post that I make I leave a bit of me in it. Whether it’s a story about my kid doing kid stuff or my granny doing crazy stuff. And honestly I think that since I do that people can better relate to me as a person and in turn appreciate my blog just a bit more.

    As for the passive aggressive stuff, you’re the most direct person I know (outside of my family)! And if someone truly knew you well enough to even think to call you “passive aggressive” they would know that’s a word that doesn’t fit you. So I say treat them the way you would a person in your day to day life. Give them the finger and go frolic in the flowers! And don’t you dare say I’m the only one that does that! :P

    • Shannon

      HAHAHAHA, I love you mama bear!!

      As much as I wanted to give them the finger and go frolic in the flowers, I didn’t. I took the high road and was very polite to them even though I could have pointed out a lot of flaws about them that would have been TRUE, unlike most of what they’ve criticized about me. From now on I will be keeping my distance…but I will say, they have one more time to get on my bad side before I SNAP.

      *crazy eyes*

      As for the personal vs. blog, I’m thinking my blog life is about to get a little more personal, because I do so enjoy seeing that in other people’s blogs. It’s so much more interesting to read a blog with a dash of personality than one that’s just books books books and nothing else. (Although I think I do a pretty good job of inserting my personality into my crazy reviews, lol.)

  11. Claire (BWB)

    i also have trouble keeping things balanced and so on. I do tweet a lot of personal things that are about my opinions and so forth but there is a lot, that i don’t share with the internet (like my real name for instance). I also keep a distance from people. I like blogs, their authors and words. But I’m not trying to make friends with anyone… It’s a blog. I like the blog or I don’t. This doesn’t mean I’m not friendly, but I keep internet relationships distant.

  12. Jessica

    It’s a tricky balance, being able to seem life-like and real on your blog without dragging all your emotional baggage into it. I think a bit of personal is always good, but most of the time, people read your blog for a specific reason. And unless it’s because they want a day-in-the-life, it’s probably safe to keep it mostly separate.

  13. Wendy

    Ummm I totally don’t think your tweets are passive aggressive! I actually frowned and went “what?” when I read this. I love your tweets! And I love you! So.. YAY! =) I love talking to you on twitter!

    As far as the discussion goes, I don’t have a twitter in non-blog-life, so I do post personal things on twitter (umm oops, sorry?) but my thing is, I always like knowing the person behind the blog and beocming friends with them so personal things feel like it just happens. I connect better if I have a person I can put behidn the blog, you know? I have a separate personal facebook (I actually don’t really use my blog one, hmm) but my real life friends don’t really know about my blog.

    Anyway. moral of the story is… you’re awesome!! =)

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Behind the Curtain

Hi. My name is Shannon and I like books. And photography. And video games. I use this space to talk about books and particpate in badassery. You can read a bit more about my awesomeness and how Twilight Sleep came to be (the name has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, contrary to popular belief) on the about page. :]

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